Mark Stevens is a Drama Critic working in Vancouver, British Columbia

My job, as many of my faithful readers know, is to write about the world of theatre. For more than 30 years, I’ve been invited to cast a critical eye on some of the most interesting, objectionable, and artfully produced theatre that has traveled through our beautiful city and I’ve enjoyed almost every moment of it. It is a rare occasion that I am invited to a play and find myself incapable of finding any value in it. However there are exceptions.

This Tuesday, I found myself in a small theatre off 26^th and Main Street watching a play produced by the Vancouver-based website Nearlyrobots.com. I would describe the production as a one man play occurring in two acts. However, this would do a great disservice to the two homeless men that haphazardly wandered onto the stage at various points during the show.

The plot of the play is entirely the creation of the play’s director and star, David MacLean. To summarize an exceedingly complex narrative, the play revolves around the trials and tribulations of a sea captain, a dog, and a giant squid that are living together on a boat that is traveling through outer-space. The program stated that various parts of the play were taken directly from Shakespeare’s Macbeth. However, this information only influenced me to conclude that Mr. MacLean has never read Macbeth nor bothered to ask anybody for a brief summary of the play.

The acting at the best of times was ambitious if not at all pleasant. The fact that Mr. MacLean chose to play all three characters, each of which was a different species, and each of which required a costume change led to a throng of awkward pauses. These pauses were outrageously emphasized by the fact that Mr. MacLean continually had the costumes catch around his ankles. Mr. MacLean’s decision to deal with problems of this nature by laughing awkwardly and muttering some variation of “That’s show business for you!” did nothing to relieve the audience of its tension and at times actually made the situation much worse. At one point during the production, the man seated next to me leaned in and told me that it was the most horrible thing that he had ever seen. I later found out that this man was a holocaust survivor.

However, it must be acknowledged that the First Act of the play is not entirely without merit. The narrative is strong and the stakes are set adequately. Mr. MacLean builds the giant squid character into something of a hero and the audience easily recognizes that the Squid must defeat the Dog – who is actually the reincarnation of Ivan the Terrible – in order to save the universe. Furthermore, the First Act of Space Race Forever is absolutely brilliant when compared to the plays Second Act; which can be summarized as a barrage of inexplicable wailing, followed by a dance performance, followed by more inexplicable wailing. In all likelihood, it is the wailing in the Second Act that drew the homeless men up on to the stage.  Although much of Mr. MacLean’s wailing was indecipherable, he did shout “Food for the homeless!” on several occasions.

It must be pointed out that the homeless men who were lured on stage by Mr. MacLean were quite impressive. One was wearing a rather dour rain jacket and jean shorts and the other was wearing a kilt and a worn sac; however, the two men proved to be surprisingly gifted performers. Once the man wearing the rain jacket realized he had wandered into a play that was still in progress, he immediately launched into a soliloquy from Christopher Marlow’s Faustus.  The emotion that this homeless man was able to inject into Marlow’s hallowed lines was beyond compare. Never in my life had I been so moved by such beauty surrounded in a context so absurd. Unfortunately, this sublime experience was cut short by Mr. MacLean’s decision to recommence his wailing.

It was at this point, that the second homeless man, as sick of Mr. MacLean’s wailing as the rest of the audience, decided to strike MacLean firmly in the jaw. Mr. MacLean was knocked unconscious and immediately the audience leapt to their feet to applaud the unemployed man in the kilt. The man in the kilt took a rather deep bow, and then immediately launched into a stirring version of “One Day More” from the eternally perfect Les Miserables. When the man in the kilt finished, the audience was in absolute hysterics, whistling, clapping, and hooting until our hands were sore and our voices hoarse. Mr. MacLean at this point was spasming uncontrollably and had urinated everywhere. An ambulance was called and the curtain descended.

Outside the theatre we were treated to an encore when the man in the kilt suddenly pulled out a butterfly knife and began to rob us. The man in the kilt’s enunciation was lacking, which made it very difficult to understand what exactly he was asking for. I told him to make his words clearer and he stabbed me underneath my kidney.

All in all it was a rather disappointing evening. I do not recommend the play.

Article By: David MacLean
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